Plastic Electric 'Blog

5:59 PM

Mumbling Welsh

One of the things that puzzles many English speakers about Welsh words is the apparent shortage of vowels. Take place names such as 'Ynysybwl', 'Ynyshîr', 'Mwnt', and even 'Cymru'. Where are the vowels? How are they to be pronounced?

Well, they've actually got plenty of vowels in them! You see, 'Y' and 'W' are both vowels in Welsh. We're not unfamiliar with 'Y' being a vowel in English ('slippery', 'by', 'gryphon', etc), but we don't usually see it used in the way often found in Welsh. 'W' as a vowel is just something we're not used to (in English, anyway).

In Welsh, 'Y' is pronounced like an 'I' or a 'U', and can be long or short. From what I remember, 'Ynyshîr' is pronounced something like 'unusee-r' (or it could be 'unisee-r', I'm not sure). 'W' is pronounced something like the double 'O' in 'book' or 'Chinook' (rather like the 'U' in 'Linux', as it happens), but can also be long (same sound, just longer). So, 'Mwnt' is pronounced sort of like 'moont', but with the 'oo' being short. 'Ynysybwl', then, is something like 'Unisubool' (I think).

Just to make things even more confusing, 'U' is pronounced like 'I', again with both long and short versions. Fortunately, Welsh words tend to be spelt very phonetically (though there are pairs of letters which, in Welsh, constitute single letters). 'Cymru', then, is not pronounced 'simroo', but 'cumri'.

Something I've found rather amusing about Welsh pronounciation and grammar is that the Welsh language actually has mumbling built into it. How would you say 'yn Caerdydd'? What if you mumbled the start of it? Well, you might say something like 'ungaerdeeth' - and you'd be right! It seems that even the spelling changes to reflect such things, so that it's 'yng Ngaerdydd'. (Such things are called mutations, which amused me.) How can one not respect a language that actually embraces the human tendency to mumble?

Now, let's see if I can remember the Welsh alphabet (shouldn't be too difficult, I was exposed to Welsh place names every year of my life 'til I was eighteen).

A

A vowel, like 'A' in English, pronounced like 'a' in 'spank' or 'bad'.

B

A consonant, just like 'b' in 'balls'.

C

A consonant, just like 'c' in 'come' (but never like an 's').

CH

It's a single letter in Welsh, even though it's composed of two Latin letters. It's just like the 'ch' in 'loch' or 'bach'. It's a consonant (if you haven't already guessed).

D

A consonant (again), just like 'd' in 'Dick'.

DD

Another consonant, and, again, a single letter. It's like 'th' in 'thing', but I don't think it's ever vocalised (like 'th' in 'the').

E

A vowel! It's like 'e' in 'jet', but can also be long (sort of like 'air', or the 'air' in 'hair') (at least, I think it can be long).

F

A consonant. It's like 'f' in 'of', so that it's like a 'v'. It's never like the 'f's in 'muffin', though.

FF

Consonant; single letter. This is like 'ff' in 'muffin', but not like 'v'.

G

Consonant. Like 'g' in 'give', but not like 'g' in 'gently'.

H

A consonant, but not really pronounced. It's what's called a breathing, which is where you don't have a glottle stop. It's like the 'h' in 'an hotel', not 'an 'otel', or 'a hotel'.

I

Vowel. It's just like 'i' in 'it' or 'thing', and can be long or short.

L

Consonant. It's like 'l' in 'lick' or 'lubrication'.

LL

Ah! The notorious Welsh double 'L'! It's a consonant, of course, but how on earth to pronounce it? Well, you just put your tongue into the usual 'L' position, but you don't do anything with your voice or throat. All you do is just gently blow by the sides of your tongue - and that's it! There's no 'cl' to it (even if it sounds a little bit like that), it's just nothing more than blowing by the sides of your tongue when holding your tongue in the 'L' position. Easy once you know how :-)

M

A consonant, like the 'm' in 'moist'.

N

Another consonant, like the 'n' in 'noises'.

NG

Yet another consonant, like the 'ng' in 'thingy' (but perhaps, I think, with the 'g' at the end slightly pronounced).

O

Another vowel, like the 'o' in 'hot' or the 'or' in 'pork'.

P

Consonant. Like the 'p' in 'poke'.

PH

A consonant, and I think it's pronounced like 'ph' in 'phenomenal'.

R

A consonant, but always pronounced. It's also supposed to be rolled, but it only needs to be barely rolled. Also, it's the sort of rolling done with the tip of the tongue, not with the back (?). It seems to be enough to just fail to actually roll it the way the Scots do. So, it's like the 'r' in 'raging' or 'hairy', but not like the 'r' in 'car'. It's always pronounced, so that the 'Treorchy' is pronounced 't'reeor-rchi', not 'tshreeawchi'. (I've had a little trouble with that, as I can't roll my 'R's much at all.)

RH

Consonant, and seems to be the same as 'R'.

S

A vowel. No! It's a consonant. Like the 's' in 'smooth', but not like in 'comes' (I don't think it's ever vocalised).

T

A consonant. Like the 't' in 'touch' or 'tight'.

TH

Another consonant. It's like 'DD', so it's like the 'th' in 'things'. I don't think it's ever vocalised.

U

A vowel, but pronounced like 'i' in 'prick', or the 'ea' in 'steamy'. (But in north Wales, they pronounce it in a more French way.)

W

A vowel, like the 'oo' in 'look', but can be long like the 'oo' in 'cool' when 'cool' is pronounced in the sort of way which isn't silly like 'kewl', but is still emphasized a little.

Y

A vowel. 'Y' clear is like 'i' in 'thick' or 'ea' in 'gleam', while 'Y' obscure is like 'u' in 'butter' or 'muffin' (I don't know if it's ever pronounced in a long way, though, when obscure).

And that's it! Oh, all the pairs of letters in that alphabet are single letters in Welsh, by the way. But there are also dipthongs, too. 'ai' is pronounced like 'y' in 'my', and 'ae' is pronounced like 'a' in 'making' and 'ay' in 'hay'. 'wy' is also a dipthong, and is pronounced a bit like the 'oy' in 'Lloyd', but with the 'o' a bit more like the 'oo' in 'look'.

:-P :-)

So, there you have it! And (having just checked) the only mistake I made in the alphabet itself is that I put 'NG' in the wrong place. It should be just after 'G'. But we're allowed one error, yes?

That's all, for now.

12:42 PM

P'nawn Da!

Simon ydw i. Rydw i'n byw yn Essex ac rydw i'n siopa yn Essex, ord dydw i ddim yn gweithio yn Essex.

(I am Simon. I live in Essex and I shop in Essex, but I don't work in Essex.)

That's about all I can say in Welsh about myself, so far. I've been learning since Saturday.

Pwy ydych chi? (Who are you?) Ble rydych chi'n byw? (Where do you live?)

I had to keep looking stuff up to write that, but that's okay, 'cause I've only just started.

Currently, I'm using the BBC's site for learning Welsh, particularly the Catchphrase part. They've even got what looks like a soap opera called Ysbyty Brynaber, which seems to star some real dolls.

Why, you may ask, am I learning Welsh? Well, it's because I'm Welsh. I'm Welsh in the sense that my mother's Welsh (or was Welsh before she decided to renounce her Welshness out of shame). It's also because there's just something appealing about knowing an ancient, Celtic language which is nearly dead, and having some sort of personal association with it. It's also one way for me to gain a bit of a better understanding of my Welsh roots.

So, um... Hwyl fawr!

1:26 AM

It's Just a Cultural Misunderstanding

You know in Mars Attacks, where someone releases a dove of peace when the Martians are first visiting? And the Martians start killing everyone? And they later apologise, 'cause it was just a 'cultural misunderstanding'? (Except it wasn't at all, and they're just wreaking havoc for the fun of it, invading Earth, and so on.) Well, that doesn't really have anything much to do with what I'm writing about in this entry. Even though this entry is sort of related to WAR and AMERICANS and THE UNITED STATES (where there is plenty of room and scope and opportunity for cultural misunderstandings the likes of which haven't been seen since, oh, earlier today, probably).

Recently, I've been noticing a particular misunderstanding, the sort that prompts the hackneyed pseudowiticism that Americans and Brits are 'divided by a common language'.

Consider the statements, 'America is just being so, so stupid. I mean, they're seriously arguing that there are links between Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda, as if such claims are at all believable!' What do those statements mean?

Many Americans, I've noticed, tend to point out that there are plenty of Americans who don't believe such stuff, who aren't stupid and ignorant, even though there do seem to be rather a lot of Americans who believe such nonsense.

To us Brits, while that's a good, relevant point, it's not directly relevant to the sorts of statements in question. Why? Because when we Brits say 'America', or 'the United States', or 'Britain', or 'the UK, or Australia, or Iraq, or wherever, we don't actually mean the people of those lands, those countries, those states and nations. We would even say, referring to our own country, that we strongly support the war. At the same time, we would also say that we strongly oppose war, at least without having a second UN resolution authorising it. The first we refers to the United Kingdom, but not necessarily the people of the UK. The second we refers to the people, not the state.

It seems, to me, that Americans take references to countries as referring to the people of those countries, rather than those countries, nations, states, as represented to the world by their governments. That's the difference. We don't mean the American people when referring to America; we're referring to the state (composed of fifty states) as represented (or misrepresented) by the government in the White House.

Now, I wonder how it looks the other way? What's the American perspective on this? I'd like to know.

12:25 PM

Breadsticks

Why am I nervous today? I don't know. I just am.

It's that kind of nervousness when you've got something like public speaking looming in the near future, and it's close enough to prevent you from concentrating properly. The topic for you to speak on will be ergonomic principles of modern toilet design. You know you'll be cacking yourself when the time comes to actually stand up and speak. Fortunately, you're a frequent user of modern toilets, but you're still unsure about how it's going to go down.

It's like when you're going on a date tomorrow night, and you're already more nervous than you want to be, 'cause it just means you'll be mangling all your words when trying to make entertaining conversation. You'll also drop breadsticks in your drink not once, but twice! And you'll giggle nervously, trying to make a joke of it. Or, at least, that's the sort of thing you fear will happen. More specifically, you fear they'll be terribly unimpressed, and will never really want to see you again. (What will actually happen is that you'll drop a breadstick in their drink.)

It's the sort of nervousness where you could put the nervous energy into preparing, except it's too soon to get ready. There are very, very slight butterflies in my stomach, except they're still caterpillars. What is it I'm nervous about?

Perhaps I'm falling in love, but just don't realise it. Can't think who I'd be falling in love with if that were so. Actually, no, it's not really like that at all. I'm just fishing around for what it could be. Hmmm, it's more like the sort of nervousness I had yesterday morning, but less so. Perhaps it's left over from that? Except I'm not seeing the dentist now for another two and a half weeks. It's far too early to be getting nervous about it. And I just know that that's not what it is.

Talking of first dates, I never actually had that nervousness on my very first ever date. I already knew the girl, as we were friends. It was one of those things where things just sort of moved from being friends on into being more than friends. I can't even remember what that first date actually was! I don't think there was one.

That's how I prefer it to be. I've never actually done proper dating as such. It always sounds rather American, anyway. And if I say, 'I'm dating someone', I'll feel like I'm saying something that belongs to women. Sexist? Silly? Maybe. But I'm just not into dating anyway, and never have been. 'Seeing someone' is how I'd much prefer to put it.

Hoping to impress the other party is, I have to say, something I really dislike. It's not that I don't want to come across well, but that I don't want that itself to be the issue. I much prefer casual, friendly, relaxed type stuff, much more like just being friends, but with there being more to the feelings, and a closer intimacy. Of course, you've actually got to get to know the person for that, unless you just happen to click right from the start (which is delicious!). So, I'd much rather end up in a closer, more intimate relationship via the casual route, rather than the dating route, if you know what I mean. I just don't want getting into a relationship to be the concious objective, but instead I want it to be just something that happens. (It doesn't help when my brain decides that I'm going to have a crush on someone I don't really know too well, though.)

But anyway, that's not what I'm nervous about now. As far as I can tell.

Perhaps it's not nervousness as such, but more a kind of anxiety? What am I anxious about? Well, there are some things for me to be a bit anxious about, such as my current cash-flow situation, but that's not the right sort of thing for this feeling I've got. It's in my stomach, in my upper abdomen, and is stroking along the sides of the tops of my forearms occasionally, and along over the little-finger-sides of the backs of my hands. And it's in my knees a little bit, too, from time to time. And my ankles.

Perhaps it's just the prospect of going to the job centre on Monday. Only it feels more exciting than that.

What can it be? Maybe it's just the anticipation of finding out what the answer to that question is.

I want to go out somewhere, and be with people.

1:57 AM

I was going to go to bed, but with Tigger being unwell, I've just gone on into that extra time.

Something I want to say: the blog that I've got is not the blog that I want. Just something I've been feeling for a long, long time, but haven't bothered to get to the point of even saying it in my head before now. Sometimes that extra time beyond tiredness can provide a bit of a different perspective, and lead to seeing things that were always being overlooked before.

1:16 AM

Blah

Today (as in Friday) just hasn't gone very well.

I was s'posed to go to the dentist's, but couldn't, due to a cash-flow situation that decided to bite today. Ended up having to make a new appointment instead, so now I've nearly three more weeks before my teeth get seen.

I was going to go to the job centre this morning, to set about trying to find a suitably naff job to do. Instead, along with being nervous and anxious about the dentist's, I spend the morning trying to find a way to be able to scrape together enough money to be able to pay the mere £20 for the intended dental check-up.

Having worn myself out with nervousness, anxiety, etc, I was too tired this afternoon to go to the job centre. I just spend the time playing a computer game instead.

And within the last hour, I've found that Tigger the cat appears to have cistitis, yet again. I woke my mother up to let her know, and she came downstairs to survey the situation. She wasn't entirely pleased, not because I'd woken her up, but because of the inconvenience and cost. Tigger will have to have yet another unplanned trip to the vet's. And, of course, having cistitis is not at all pleasant for Tigger herself.

My mother also kept farting.

1:50 PM

Commmmments

Are my comments too long? (I'm crap at concision.) Do I comment too much? (I'm crap at following more than just a handful of blogs at a time.) It's just something I've been wondering these last few days. I know that I'd have no problem with lengthy comments, if people chose to write them, but I know that most people's comments in various blogs tend to be quite a lot shorter than mine. So, I was just wondering, that's all.

Oh, and I've now got a new appointment for the 12th of March. That's, um, nearly three weeks. I hope I'm not struck down with the agony of toothache in that time! Maybe I'll shop around for some other dentists in the meantime.

6:29 PM

American Beauty

A few weeks ago, or several weeks ago, or however long ago it was, I watched American Beauty on telly. It was, I think, a very good film.

And I think I understood it. I'm pretty sure I understood it. That bit where that boy with the right-wing father is showing the most beautiful thing he's videoed, which happens to be a discarded bag or something being blown around by the wind with some leaves, was something I didn't have any trouble understanding. I could just see what he meant about it being beautiful.

There was that contrast between fake 'beauty', like that seemingly shallow cheerleader chick that Kevin Spacey was having an adolescent crush on, and the beautiful absence of such falsity. But not just that absence. There was a beauty in what was videoed itself.

And that cheerleader chick (I can't remember any of the names of any of the characters) turned out to be beautiful in the end. When she was about to get porked by Spacey, she shed that facade, that persona, and let her vunerability be revealed. It was now the real girl, not the persona, who we were seeing. A beauty, which I find remarkably similar to the beauty in that boy's video, became apparent, and was no longer hidden.

It was not that her clothes were coming off, but that she was putting her ugly persona aside. Perhaps the shedding of her clothes somehow symbolised that, in some kind of way.

Anyway, it seemed to be a very simple film in the end. I liked that. I liked that a lot. It was a film with the same kind of beauty that it itself was about.

4:22 PM

Owww :-(

My mouth hurts.

It's nearly two weeks since I realised that I had a frighteningly deepening cavety in one of my bottom-right molars. Since then, I've been chewing mostly on the left side of my mouth. But now my mouth is sore on that side from chewing a mouthful of food with only that half of my mouth. It doesn't help that my teeth on that side aren't too good, either.

Less than a week, now, until I see the dentist. I can still conceive of myself actually going to the dentist. This is something of a relief. Hopefully, in the final few days, I will not have a sudden relapse into the old phobia. It's not the dentist I fear anymore (if 'fear' is even the right word), but the instruments of torture (I know it will be torture). But I can face that. I am quite prepared to yell out as the dentist pokes that hard, pointy pokey thing in my cavety and elsewhere. It's going to be horrible.

There are basically two things that worry me now. Firstly, of course, there's the fear that things will be grim, that my teeth/gums/whatever will be too bad, and that I'll have to have all my teeth ripped out. Hopefully, this is just a normal fear of things being worse than they actually are. Secondly, though, I fear that work that'll need to be done will be too expensive for my current finances. The combination of those fears, of course, is that my teeth could be saved, repaired, and so on, but that it would cost too much, so the dentist will say that it'll have to be dentures instead. That would be so naff, wouldn't it? It would be like saying to someone, 'You're going to have dentures, not because you actually need them, but because you're just crap.'

I think I'll give my teeth another clean, as that toothpaste for sensitive teeth really is especially nice on those few occasions my mouth's actually hurting.

6:48 AM

More Thoughts on The Iraq Saga

Oh, it turns out that the Franco-German plan for a UN force to assist the inspectors has been denied by Paris and Berlin. Seems it's really the old idea, yet again, of throwing more inspectors at the problem, and that sort of thing. But the problem is not the number of inspectors, but that Saddam Hussein's regime won't fully comply with such inspections in the first place! I'm back to supporting the British position, but with some reservations.

Firstly, it really doesn't help for the US and UK to demonstrate just how little evidence they can show of Iraq's noncompliance with UN resolutions. Secondly, it really doesn't help for the US to try to persuade the world that the recent al-Qaeda tape proves a link between al-Qaeda and Saddie-boy's regime. It would be like claiming a link between the current American government and Fidel Castro if the US and Cuba happened to have a common enemy. Hell, there was far more of a link between the US and Stalin's Soviet Union back in the early 1940s! Hmmm, does that mean that President Roosevelt was a commie? I s'pose, given what Washington is saying these days about Iraq and al-Qaeda, that he must've been.

One problem with the Anglo-American emphasis on weak, shoddy 'evidence' is that it draws attention away from any real evidence there may be (and there is some). Another is that it boosts Iraq's case that it doesn't have, and isn't developing, weapons of mass destruction (otherwise why else would so much effort to prove otherwise have resulted in such weak evidence?). Yet another, of course, is that it persuades the world that the American and British governments aren't necessarily entirely trustworthy on such matters. And yet another is that it rather reinforces the view that America and Britain are desperately trying to find an excuse to go to war. All of this draws attention away from the real issues, the real evidence, such as the question of whether or not the regime in Iraq really is fully and truly complying with what's supposed to be its last and final chance.

The ridiculous interpretations of the al-Qaeda tape, which are that it shows a link between Saddie-boy's gang of thugs and bin Laden's web of terror, really does demonstrate how stupid the American regime can be. If, instead, they all wore T-shirts stating, 'We're determined to invade Iraq, no matter what the UN say', we'd surely have greater respect for them, simply because they'd be being honest (though we still wouldn't necessarily have much respect for them overall). Perhaps Bush thinks that arguments which he finds persuasive and convincing will persuade and convince enough of the American people (after all, he's in the White House, which means that the majority of Americans voted for him, yeah?), and that what's persuasive and convincing for the Americans will be persuasive and convincing for the rest of the world. (Yes, I know he didn't get elected by the majority, but it's the sort of line of 'thought' I can imagine him thinking along.)

Bin Laden detests Saddie's regime. If America and Britain, along with some others, bring about a change of regime, he'll probably see it as an opportunity for his 'version' of Islam to gain greater influence in Iraq. I wouldn't be at all surprised if he's actually hoping that we'll invade, so that it'll be infidels fighting infidels, and infidels destroying each other. So, could it, just perhaps, be that Bush's regime is so stupid that they're actually playing into bin Laden's hands? I fear this may be so. There are reports of bin Laden having a lot of support in the Arab world as we prepare to invade.

Anyway, this really is an opportunity for the UN to further regain previously lost credibility when it comes to Iraq. I don't think France, Germany, Russia and China are helping by promoting 'solutions' which aren't actually solutions to the actual problems, but I do think that there's a great opportunity here for them to support something like a resolution requiring the establishment of a UN force in Iraq. If Iraq complies, then peace will have more of a chance than it's had for a long time. But if Iraq refuses, then there'll be little doubt that invasion would be the only option left.

Well, there is another option. That other option is to leave the middle-east to deal with the problem itself. After all, there are a lot of people in the Arab world who really don't support military action against Iraq. That, I think, would be a very good reason for the US and UK to withdraw. But, of course, if Iraq did then invade Kuwait and/or Saudi Arabia, we'd surely be criticised for having ceased to defend them against a known aggressor.

6:11 AM

Skipping

I've just got no attention span today (tonight (today (etc))). Can't concentrate on anything much for long. Feeling alive, though! Listening to music on the radio (something I've kept forgetting to do for months), and, um, just passing the time as if a little bit hyperactive from ingesting things with certain kinds of additives in them (no, not those sorts, just the usual kinds of additives, the legal ones, that make some people, often children, a bit hyperactive).

We've got another skip. It's a bigger one. Some of the things that were too big and bulky for the other one have gone in it, and there's more to be done. But this time, we're taking advantage of how we can have the skip for a whole week. But already we've pretty much got our chessboard patio back (which was where the accumulated junk was being kept). (We liked the giant chessboard in Hyde Park, Sydney, you see.)

Included in the junk this time are some bulky parts of an old computer, which was thrown out in my direction, having previously been thrown out in someone else's direction, originally from a bakery. It was a Sharp BA 2700; dated back to circa 1980; and was less powerful than a Sinclair ZX Spectrum. But it was massive! It was bigger than a piano (one of those standy-uppy ones), and dominated by a printer that could take A2 sheets of paper. And in a somewhat smaller, peripheral unit were two, eight inch floppy disk drives (I've kept the drives themselves, and each is the size of a shoe box, along with various other useful things, like cables and stuff). It certainly wasn't designed to fit in a small space! (What I'd really like is one of those old minicomputers, you know, the ones that took up whole offices and were painted orange so that they'd blend into their surroundings.)

There's other stuff going in the skip, too, though. Already the case from my previous PC has gone in (it wasn't a proper PC case, anyway, but was from some other old computer, which itself had been made out of bits), and an old music centre (a hi-fi from a time when it was popular to call them 'music centres'), too. Oh, and a gearbox from a car. And, I think, some other stuff.

We'll also be putting a shed in the skip this week.

8:43 AM

Iraq and the United Nations Force

Just this morning, on the telly, I saw about the Franco-German plan to get a UN resolution to have a UN force in Iraq to support the weapons inspections. Sounds like a damned better way forwards to me than the US pushing so hard for war! (The BBC have a section specifically on the conflict with Iraq.)

For ages, now, I've been somewhat resigned to an invasion being ultimately the only way to deal with Saddam's regime. After so many years of mucking about, and especially with how the UN has finally made some real progress only once the US gets all beligerant, it really seemed that there was no other way. At least, it just didn't seem that anyone else was really managing to come up with anything truly credible in the light of history.

Well, I had, occasionally, wondered about the possibility of something like a UN resolution requiring Iraq to accept some sort of UN force, and it's an idea I've heard raised occasionally over the years, but it never really seemed plausible. But it seems bloody plausible now!

I also have to say that I've been truly impressed with just how successful the threat of war has been in getting Iraq to be a lot more compliant with the UN. Can anyone really, seriously deny that the huge change (all the way from no inspections to much more thorough inspections than ever before) hasn't been largely due to that threat? The threat of war has also been very effective in getting the UN itself to make real and serious progress.

Of course, Bush's agenda is so bloody transparent to the rest of the world that it's quite amazing (and really puts many of the American people to shame if, as seems to be the case, they really can't see what the Bush agenda really is). Not that that agenda is necessarily wrong, as there are more problems due to the current regime in Iraq than just the issue of weapons of mass destruction. But this whole thing of it being part of the war on terror, which got off to that spectacular and spectactularly awful kick-off on September 11th, really is stretching it, and treats the American people as idiots (unfortunately, it seems rather appropriate in many cases (but let us not forget that there are also plenty of Americans who aren't ignorant, who are most certainly not idiots, as Miss Marybeth demonstrates)).

And then there's Blair, standing shoulder to shoulder with America, being Bush's poodle, with the UK being the US' feisty little side-kick. Except that's not how it is. It's really a matter of Blair holding America's leash, Bush's leash in particular, as best he can, seeking to guide the US away from being a rogue state and towards the international, UN route. (This, by the way, is the theory I've had since just days after September 11th, and it's still holding up magnificently.) Though I am concerned that Blair will, at this late stage, make the wrong decision, and stick with the US despite this truly good plan being sought by France, Germany and Russia.

Perhaps this will sound like I'm licking Blair's arse (eugh!), but I do think he's done a splendid job, under the circumstances, of keeping the US on the right side of the line (but only just!). After all, if Clinton, who was much more outwards looking than the very much inwards looking Bush, was prepared to launch cruise missile attacks against suspected terrorist targets abroad, then surely, after September 11th, Bush's America would indeed lash out in some way! But that just didn't happen. Instead, time passed, and then, once it was clear that the Taliban were harbouring Al-Qaeda, and that Al-Qaeda were indeed responsible, and the Taliban refused to cooperate with international demands, war was waged (and Afghanistan's a much better place for it, even though it's still in an atrocious state compared to the rest of the world, and so much more needs to be done to rebuild that country (the sort of thing the US never seems terribly interested in these days)). And, yes, I believe that Blair has been pivotal in that. Without Blair's involvement, I don't doubt that America would have lashed out in 2001, and would have commenced an invasion of Iraq by now.

And look at Kosovo. There was NATO, including the UK, bombing Serbia, and, with us Brits leading the negotiations, managed to talk our way into Kosovo! Now that's a feat to be proud of, don't you reckon? If it had been the Yanks, well, we'd've had to fight our way in. (Incidentally, when the Serbs said 'yes, okay, you can come into Kosovo', we were already at the gates (literally), waiting to go in. But the Americans held things up, because they were in Greece, staying at a relatively safe distance. Well, they do have a reputation for turning up late for wars.)

Blair, I hope, can do it. My hope is that Blair can, and will, persuade the US to go with the Franco-German plan. After all, the resolution would effectively call for something like an occupying force, which is what there'd be after an invasion anyway. And if Iraq refuses to comply? Well, then it'll be obvious that invasion really is going to be the only way. After all, how else would such a resolution be enforced? It really does seem to be the right way forwards, the way to resolve the growing international split on Iraq, and continue to give peace a real chance.

But I fear it may be too late. Germany's already managed to piss Bush off, and that's just made it more difficult to keep the US from going it alone. And, with so much of the UK's military amassed in the area, we seem to be effectively committed to any war that America now starts with Iraq. After all, if Iraq strikes back, they're going to strike back at us, too. What do we do? Leave our soldiers, sailors and air people to be sitting targets? I just fear it may be too late. But I hope, I dare to hope, that Blair will seek to do the right thing, and will seek as best he can, along with the rest of the British government, to keep the US on the UN route.

3:24 AM

Thinking of a Memetic CounterAttack against Spam

Isn't it daft how spammers try to evade spam filters? I've seen h-y-p-h-e-n s-e-p-a-r-a-t-e-d s-p-e-l-l-i-n-g-s, mlsspe11lngs, Re: fake replies, and, of course, the usual hi there, pretending to know you ones. It's just silly. Why on earth have the spammers not realised that if someone's using a spam filter, they're just not going to be interested in spam? Why don't they think it through far enough to see that there's just no point in spamming people who dislike spam enough to do something to try to prevent it? Are the spammers thick?

Here's one way that the spam 'industry' operates. You, the schemer, come up with a spamming scheme. You advertise this scheme, perhaps by doing a bit of spamming, and you get some suckers to join the scheme. They invest some money, which more than covers your initial costs, and you provide them with some spamming software, email address lists, and some spam to send out. Some (perhaps all) of the spam is advertising your scheme. The spammers spam away for you, and a very tiny proportion of the recipients also turn out to be suckers, and invest in your scheme. And so it grows.

You only pay the spammers for successful responses to spam. Of course, the number of such responses is a tiny, tiny fraction of the total amount of spam sent out. The money you get from those few suckers who choose to invest dwarfs the amount you have to pay (if you bother to pay it) to the spammers. Soon, the money you get from them is almost pure profit. And they keep spamming, and some more spammers sign up, and they keep spamming, and so on, and so on.

Another approach is to rely on how people won't bother claiming their commissions if their commissions total no more than, say, 70p or so. That way, you can theoretically owe thousands of pounds to your spammers, but not have any more than a tiny fraction of it claimed. You can effectively run your spamming scheme in a bankrupt state, yet still making and pocketing a nice profit from advertisers and the investing spammers.

It's just that old goldrush thing where the only people guaranteed to get rich are those who are selling the pick axes and shovels.

So, why do people get sucked into spamming? Is it because they're stupid? Is it because they're desperate? Is it both? I suspect stupidity (as in not bothering to really, truly think, rather than being unable to think) and desperation (things are so bad that, hell, it's worth a try) are probably the main reasons. Naivety (no, that's not a misspelling, it's just my choice of spelling) and gullability are probably also significant factors, too, of course. Still, I do find it quite incredible that spammers think it's worth spamming those who obviously dislike spam.

Perhaps there needs to be some sort of educational campaign, to educate spammers and potential spammers to the fact that spam doesn't pay. But how? Who would fund such a campaign? Ummm, dare I suggest that it be done in a similar way to, erm, spam? Perhaps, with the right memetic properties, the message could effectively propagate itself, much in the way that jokes do? Yes, I think that, perhaps, could be the way...

12:52 AM

Rubbish!

We got a skip today. We filled it in just an hour and a half, but it was only a small one. Still, it had an internal capacity of approximately two cubic yards, and I'd reckon we managed to put a ton or two of stuff in there (maybe more, but I'm being conservative with my estimates). Even so, we've still got at least a skipload (and probably needing a bigger skip) of stuff left. (The reason I know the capacity of the skip is 'cause my mother measured its dimensions to the nearest inch, and then drew a diagram of it.)

I've also done some more clearing out of accumulated stuff from my room. Threw my old matress away (it was falling apart), and dared to face The Stuff Under The Bed (no, not that sort of stuff). I even dared to rediscover what's in the trunk at the end of my bed (still not that sort of stuff). It was mostly computer and science magazines that were over a decade old. Had a damned good hoover under the bed, too.

But clearing out junk'n'rubbish is not the only thing I've been doing today. I also went to the library, to print out a form so that I can sell a bunch of naff shares I won over three years ago. 101 000 shares that are worth, oh, about 0.085p each? Only now are they collectively worth enough for me to bother selling them.

Think I might try writing a CV tomorrow. If the experience doesn't bring on insanity, I may even go on to seeing about registering with some job agencies. I think I can now mentally cope with the idea of being pimped out for naff work.

Oh, I should also mention that my mother was particularly diligent and keen to get the stuff packed in the skip as compactly as possible. And I must say, I've never seen a skip so neatly filled. I think we can be proud of what we've achieved today.

12:31 AM

Actually, I'm quite shaken up by the whole dentist/teeth thing. And quite annoyed with myself that I ever let myself develop such a mental block in the first place. And for not being more diligent with the toothbrush. But, well, that road just leads back to beating myself up about getting ill with clinical depression in the first place, blah blah blah. Best not go back to that.

But yes, I am in a little bit of a state. But other than that, I'm fine :-)

11:50 PM

Teeth

Today, something good happened. Something unexpected happened. That something is this: I could finally conceive of myself going to the dentist.

My teeth, and dentists, are something I've barely been able to even mention, let alone write about. Even now I feel stressed just writing this!

Somehow, back in the mid to late nineties, I ended up with some sort of irrational, mental block about them. Some kind of phobia. Not about the drills and stuff, though they're not particularly pleasant. But about the dentists themselves, the actual people who are those dentists. A fear that they will moralise, that they will express some sort of disapproval. So strong this phobia became, that I just could not conceive of going to see one. Even just for a check-up. I just could not cope with the concept. Just a disapproving 'Oh' from a dentist would be enough to destroy me, and turn me into some sort of gibbering wreck. It made no sense, but that's the nature of irrational phobias and mental blocks.

In more recent years, my teeth have not been doing so well. To be frank, they are now truly shocking. There has been sensitivity, but I have been spared the agony of toothache. There are plenty of cavities. It is far - very far - from good.

Now, I've often thought of going for some sort of treatment, some sort of professional help, to get over this immobilising, debilitating, irrational mental block. But, alas, the mental block just extends to that, too. While I know full-well myself that my teeth badly need urgent and major attention, just admitting this to others has been somewhat impossible. It's that same, mental block, somehow. And, of course, the idea of having to explain it all when it's not even rational, and just doesn't make sense, to begin with.

But today, this morning, the sight of a deepening cavety somehow did the trick. I can just see it getting too close to the pulp. And, somehow, this sent me across the threshold. Seeing a dentist became conceivable!

I knew I did not have much time to lose. I knew that I had to seize the opportunity once it had arisen, before it faded again. Not only was the idea of seeing a dentist plausible, but it was not even something I was afraid of! Financial implications could wait, as there was no need for me not to see about making an appointment just because it might be financially problematic. I had a bath and stuff, and then set out to the dentist's.

Once I got there, I could feel the fear beginning to return. The irrational mental block had not left entirely, but had sort of stood to one side. Standing in the short queue, I could feel it creeping back. But I held out against it. It was no big deal, after all, I was just seeing about making an appointment.

I managed, without much difficulty, not to break when it was my turn to talk to the receptionist. Not only did I manage to make an appointment (for later this month), but also managed to briefly enquire as to what the charges are like. I even managed to indicate that my teeth are in something of a bad state! I received the appointment card, and, thanking the receptionist in the usual, everyday way, I left.

I felt a little shaken up, but just a little, after that. I had not only crossed the threshold in my mind, but had begun to cross the threshold in actual action, too. I'm not sure how well I'll hold out, but seeing the dentist is now what's going to happen, rather than something inconceivable. I'll just have to keep looking at that cavety, and keep myself on the sane side of the line.